Friends, readers, family, lovers,
Mankind has officially reached an new height of amazingness. Jackson Crawford is a professor at the UCLA. This excellent human being has masterfully written the entire Star Wars story in the style of an Icelandic saga. This following excerpt (if you can’t tell) is about Han Solo, Jabba the Hut, and the Millennium Falcon.
“Because Hólmgöngu-Hani did not like the reign of King Falfaðinn, he went to Denmark and was with King Jabbi for a while; in the summer he went out on viking raids, and he oft did great damage to the lands and ships of King Falfaðinn; he raided widely here and there, wherever he came to land in Norway. And in the winter he gave to King Jabbi the wares that he got in Norway. King Jabbi liked this tribute very well, and he gave Hani a great axe, and this axe was jagged-pointed and gilded, with a shaft done in silver, and it was the greatest of treasures. Hani had another great treasure, and that was his ship, which he had gotten when he won a swimming race against Landó Kalrissiansson at Kessel Island. This ship was called the Thousand Year Falcon; it was the fastest of ships.”
You can read the entire “saga” here. On this page, you’ll see a link to the pdf of the entire thing in English and …..wait for it… Old Norse. That’s right, not only did he write it in English, he wrote it in Old Norse. Jackson Crawford, I salute you.